A week after i got my hair cut, I wrote this in the back of my notebook:
You are now an entire week old! My life has changed dramatically since your inception. When I look back on my life without you, it seems so lacking. Lacking of stress and cowlicks and 20 extra minutes of prep time in the morning and hairspray and hair goo and still!! still with the cowlick and having to use the blow dryer all the time. FUCK YOU BANGS!!! I wish you'd never been born!! You're uneven and constantly in my eyes and you refuse to lay flat on my head like normal people hair. I can't wait until you grow and are out of my life!! You were a mistake.
I wrote that and then i forgot about it. then i let a few weeks pass and i even tried to trim the bangs myself (they grow so goddamn fast!!) and i then tried to add my own layers (never a good idea). then I decided i could deal with the bangs but that I needed the layers done professionally. So about a week ago (?) I went back to Miss Punk ROck with my friend E.M. i went back to the funny hair cut lady and she didn't recognize me. she didn't recognize me and was awfully suspicious of my hair. she, in fact, refused to believe she had actually done this haircut. I, myself, refused to admit that i had, also myself, altered said haircut. Even E.M. says that she was ridiculously mean to me. I mean, she yelled at me kind of. She yelled at me and told me i wasn't making any sense when i told her i wanted layers added. she was all "i don't do bang trims. and i don't just 'add layers', if you want layers added, i have to do a WHOLE NEW HAIRCUT." thinking back, i now realize that she may have been under the impression that i was trying to get a free haircut out of her. I was willing to pay for it, duh. I just wanted GODDAMN LAYERS FOR FUCKING CHRISSAKES MY HAIR HAS LOOKED LIKE A CLEOPATRA WIG FOR OVER 2 WEEKS. so after i got yelled at, i got really nervous and i have this tendency to be pretty darn fidgety. so i was in the chair and i was kicking my legs and i accidentally kicked miss punk rock's huge platform shoe. i kicked the shoe and i was all embarrassed and i had just been yelled at and she goes "STOP SWINGING YOUR LEGS AND JUST SIT STILL!!!" i felt like an asshole. all of this after i brought her a new customer, E.M. who she was sooooooooo sweet to. all buttering her up and saying how great she looked. then i got abused!!! it all worked out though because i finally got the mother fucking goddamn shit ass layers. okay? i got the layers. I got the layers and it's been a week and a half? or has it just been a week? it's been a week and i am much happier, though i still wake up with my hair sticking straight up in the air. i wake up and my hair is pointing north and mister cranky pants never ceases to giggle at me first thing in the morning. but, so, i wrote the following in my notebook just the other day:
Since i got the rest of my air chopped into layers- I LOVE YOU!!! What a great idea you were!!! How could I have ever lived without you????